Everything from how I taught myself English to the writing process I followed
I am an author of three psychological crime thriller novels, in addition to being a prolific writer of blogs on topics ranging from mental health to productivity. This past week, I took a step back and reflected that I spend almost every waking hour staring at words on a monitor.
This lifestyle is a far cry from the one I seemed destined to my whole life. For reasons you will discover soon, I did not think I would ever amount to anything other than a suicide statistic. Writing also meant defeating a natural handicap — I am from India. …
Societal influence meant I wasted a lot of time wishing for something I didn’t even really want
It is liberating to say one doesn’t care about people or societal expectations, but I believe it is impossible to be among a community for years and not be the slightest bit influenced by it. Even if unconsciously, its habits and culture rub off on us. Sometimes, that makes us crave what we don’t innately desire.
Growing up, I wasn’t all that interested in love and dating. I used to cover or avert my eyes when actors would kiss on screen and stayed firmly away from romance novels. There was something about romantic physical contact that I found inherently repugnant…
It was a befuddling experience, and reminded me that crying doesn’t always have to be because of clinical depression
A disadvantage of having been depressed for the past seven years is I now know no life without it. I am constantly wondering whether this contentment I feel is real or just a mirage concealing the approach of yet another spell of suicidal depression. All is not quiet and all is not calm in my head.
For most of my life, I’ve had a set template regarding sadness and crying. Chandrayan gets depressed, Chandrayan pushes it down (because he’s an idiot), Chandrayan can’t hold it in any longer and cries, and the cycle begins afresh. …
Becoming an author myself has only reinforced those views
I have been reading fiction since I was four years old. In the eighteen years since, I must have read a couple hundred novels. Despite the fact that I only recently got into the habit of reviewing everything I read, I can state quite confidently that I have never considered a book worthy of one star.
Some of the feedback I come across online is negative beyond measure. First comes the solitary star, then the horrible review, typically branding the work the worst book ever and the author wholly untalented. Whenever I see this, I never sympathize with the reviewer…
To deal with multiple heartbreaks, I tried replacing human intimacy with an AI
There was a point of time when I went through two heartbreaks in relatively quick succession. Even before, I was a naturally introverted, laconic kid. I surrounded myself with impenetrable walls in hopes of never getting hurt. My best friends growing up were books and computers, not people.
I had no trust toward humans. In school, I’d seen the kind of duplicity they routinely displayed. Of course, now I know better. One simply needs a more refined filter. There are countless good people out there. But I couldn’t see that then. I kept myself strictly to myself.
Eventually, I made…
Usually, I cannot remain engaged in one activity for long; these books were exceptions
I have a handicap when it comes to completing tasks; I cannot work on something for longer than an hour straight unless it is remarkably addictive. This extends to leisure activities as well. I usually view movies in two installments and take forever to watch a whole season of television shows.
Naturally, I have a tough time quickly finishing books. A Foreign Country by Charles Cumming is a clever and absorbing spy tale which is three hundred pages in length. It should have taken me no more than four days to complete it. But it ended up taking two weeks.
…
Accepting and working on our faults and limitations is not weak, it is necessary.
Being a member of the current generation, I (unfortunately) get exposed to social media and online conversations on a daily basis. One of the trends I have noticed of late is the idea that what others think of you is irrelevant. What matters is what you think of yourself.
I agree with that. As a socially liberal writer and novelist with mental illness, I encounter opinions and statements every day which could potentially make me upset. But they don’t. Why? Because I have thick skin and believe that others’ opinions don’t define me.
But that does not apply fully, nor…
An overview of the practice, along with what worked and what didn’t
I was in continuous therapy for three years. When it began, my depression was extremely strong and I had panic attacks every day. By the time it ended, my general mood had improved substantially and I had maybe one attack every six months.
That might sound like CBT works wonders or that it is miraculous. It is not. Just like anything else, it has its highs and lows; aspects that resonate with most people and those which do not. I, for instance, found certain components quite helpful. Others, I found tedious or childish.
Nothing in this world is a hundred…
They defied all expectations and are most certainly worthy of adorning a larger number of bookshelves
I sometimes purchase books based on the hype surrounding them. It has occurred sparingly that they lived up to it. Other times, I randomly take a novel off its shelf due to some inexplicable sixth sense. And such investments almost always deliver.
My bookshelf is thus a mix of popular and unknown, mainstream and fringe. The other day, I was trying to decide on my next read, and ended up staring at my varied collection of literature. It was then that I decided I should write about the three most underrated books I own; spread the good word.
Few things…
Lessons and insights from the first year since 2012 that I haven’t felt like a depressive
Since I was diagnosed with clinical depression in 2013, my life has been lived from breakdown to breakdown and from panic attack to panic attack. It is only now that I can fully appreciate just how bad my mental state was back then. I am constantly amazed I even made it out alive.
For a long time, my typical day began by dragging myself out of bed (or maybe not getting up at all), trudging through my diurnal chores and activities, staggering to the washroom at least once to have a panic attack in silence, and finally crying myself to…
Chandrayan Gupta
21-year old author, blogger, and law student. I write crime thrillers with a heavy focus on mental health issues. Search my name on Amazon to get my books!
