Member-only story
It’s Okay to be Confused About Your Sexuality
It’s not as simple as society makes it out to be
I am a 21-year old male, and have never been in a relationship. I have never had sex, and neither have I ever kissed anyone. There was a time when that fact would eat at my insides, make me feel depressed and worthless. Thankfully, that time is long behind me.
Growing up, I saw many of my friends enter into relationships and fall in love, and I simply wasn’t interested in that world. That bothered me. Was I abnormal? Even then, until I turned 18, the lack of romance in my life didn’t bother me. It was only when I turned into a legal adult did the absence of sexual desire get to me. Why? Because it was normal to want sex at that age. I was 18, for god’s sake! I should’ve been out on the street, humping anything with a pulse. Instead, the very thought of sex made me nauseous.
There is one thing you need to know about me — I’ve been suffering from clinical depression and anxiety since the age of 14. Because of this, I never felt like I could connect to anyone around me. I felt left out, like I wasn’t normal. That word became my highest aim. I had to be normal. I had to fit in. I despised anything that made me different, and my shockingly low libido was one of them.
